Friday, February 22, 2008

MY CONVICTIONS ARE MY OWN

I have been thinking a lot about writing this post. Probably too much. After I read a post about it at one of my favorite blogs, I felt like the Lord was nudging me to write it. I have typed it up on Word and left it there to see if the nudging would go away.

It hasn’t.

Mike and I made a decision that we would let the Lord decide the size of our family~ a “quiverfull family”. Some of my family and friends know this but most don’t.

I have felt the Holy Spirit prompting since I read a book by Vickie and Jayme Farris, “A Mom like you”. My former pastor’s wife lent me the book and I read it twice before giving it back. That was almost 6 years ago. Mike thought I was crazy and said, “No”.

I said, “Okay!!” I felt like I had been absolved from having to worry about it. Mike was the head of our household right? And if he said no that was what I had to live with. Still, the Holy Spirit kept bringing it to my mind.

When we moved so Mike could go to college for pastoral training I thought that I wouldn’t be bothered by this anymore. The Lord knew we had no extra money. He also knew we had no health insurance and we would ‘unwise’ to have a baby at this time.

Mike had not changed his mind either. UNTIL~ he had a professor at the college that talked about letting the Lord decide the size of your family. He came home and we talked about it. Still he wasn’t fully convinced. I was more convinced but not sold on the idea.

We mulled over it for a long time, reading scripture, praying about it, talking about it, and reading about it.

Needless to say, in March of 2006, I threw my BC pills away.

I know that the Lord opens and closes the womb because I have evidence in my own life. I know that whether we have 5 more, no more, or adopt, God is in control of our family size.

I know that some people get defensive when this is discussed. I am only telling our story and feel you should really seek the Lord on this decision. I know that I was thinking selfishly before the Holy Spirit convicted me on this subject.

I kept thinking that I wanted to be done with raising children. In fact, in my early twenties I had told people that if I didn’t get pregnant before I turned 25 I didn’t want anymore.

My girls were born when I was 27 and 29 respectively. I am sure the Lord chuckled at that one.

We lost a baby this past November and I know how real that heartache is. If we have more or not we know that our hearts are ‘quiverfull’ and that we are allowing God to have His will with the size of our family.

3 comments:

Jessie said...

Good for you! I'm glad that you and Mike have stood by your convictions concerning your family size.

It's been awhile. I'll try to give you a call this weekend to chit-chat.

Bob and Cindy Cole said...

jen,

First, I want to thank you for that sweet comment you left on my blog. It made me smile this morning! Second, the book, "A Mom Just Like You" is probably my favorite book. It has helped me alot; especially in these last few years. Finally, thank you for sharing your story. I pray that God will bless you with more children!

Love,
Cindy
anarmyforthelord.blogspot.com

Heather said...

Thanks for sharing your convictions. I remember a time when I thought I had everything planned out perfectly. And then I realized it wasn't up to me...I needed to let God work out the timing. After several miscarriages, I swore we wouldn't have more children, because "I don't want my kids to be an entire decade apart." Now my daughter will soon turn 11, and our baby boy is 1. And in the middle of their births, God allowed us to experience the blessing of adoption. Yes, God has a perfect plan!!! I'm so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious baby. That is such a tough thing to go through, and no one can truly understand the feeling of loss until she has experienced it. I'll certainly keep you in my prayers.