I have been thinking a lot about writing this post. Probably too much. After I read a post about it at one of my favorite blogs, I felt like the Lord was nudging me to write it. I have typed it up on Word and left it there to see if the nudging would go away.
Mike and I made a decision that we would let the Lord decide the size of our family~ a “quiverfull family”. Some of my family and friends know this but most don’t.
I have felt the Holy Spirit prompting since I read a book by Vickie and Jayme Farris, “A Mom like you”. My former pastor’s wife lent me the book and I read it twice before giving it back. That was almost 6 years ago. Mike thought I was crazy and said, “No”.
I said, “Okay!!” I felt like I had been absolved from having to worry about it. Mike was the head of our household right? And if he said no that was what I had to live with. Still, the Holy Spirit kept bringing it to my mind.
When we moved so Mike could go to college for pastoral training I thought that I wouldn’t be bothered by this anymore. The Lord knew we had no extra money. He also knew we had no health insurance and we would ‘unwise’ to have a baby at this time.
Mike had not changed his mind either. UNTIL~ he had a professor at the college that talked about letting the Lord decide the size of your family. He came home and we talked about it. Still he wasn’t fully convinced. I was more convinced but not sold on the idea.
We mulled over it for a long time, reading scripture, praying about it, talking about it, and reading about it.
Needless to say, in March of 2006, I threw my BC pills away.
I know that the Lord opens and closes the womb because I have evidence in my own life. I know that whether we have 5 more, no more, or adopt, God is in control of our family size.
I know that some people get defensive when this is discussed. I am only telling our story and feel you should really seek the Lord on this decision. I know that I was thinking selfishly before the Holy Spirit convicted me on this subject.
I kept thinking that I wanted to be done with raising children. In fact, in my early twenties I had told people that if I didn’t get pregnant before I turned 25 I didn’t want anymore.
My girls were born when I was 27 and 29 respectively. I am sure the Lord chuckled at that one.
We lost a baby this past November and I know how real that heartache is. If we have more or not we know that our hearts are ‘quiverfull’ and that we are allowing God to have His will with the size of our family.