Friday, January 25, 2008


I was reading archives from last year and I came across this post.

To be honest, it was gut wrenching. I had forgotten about it and when I read it I felt ill.

You see, I still have sadness about my miscarriage that occurred on Nov. 12 at 4pm.

When I read my own words about trusting the Lord with our family size back on March 19, 2007 I had not experienced the pain of losing a baby through miscarriage.

On March 19, 2007, I was naive about pregnancy loss and the pain that is involved. I was totally unaware that the Lord would have me go down this road.

When my husband and I decided to give that part of our lives over to Christ for Him to control we did not know what we were facing. But, God did.

Have I changed my mind about the decision we made? No, absolutely not.

In that post, I touched on being obsessed with getting pregnant back 10 years ago when we were trying to have a baby. I am having to fight off those urges now. I am having to force myself daily to leave all of it at the feet of Jesus.

I don't know how this journey will play out. I don't know if we will have another baby. I am learning to trust more and more. Trusting is hard. Pure and simple.

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